Happy birthday to me , Happy Birthday to me, Happy happy biiirrrtthhhdaayyyy 2 meeee!!!! (sang in the same falsetto as a yowling cat ) Happy Birthday to me.
Yes it is about to be midnight on the beginning of January 5 2015. I am 50 today. Honestly I really thought It would feel different, maybe it will in 24 hours, but then again It feels like JUST ANOTHER DAY. SHeeesh!!! or Ughhh as Austin would write about mondays.
A quick recap of past Birthdays:
- 10th birthday . It was the year my grandfather passed away from leukemia. I was in grade 6 and had a disgusting ‘pudding bowl’ style haircut. I had also really discovered the library at school.
- 20th birthday. I was in my 3rd year of a cooking apprenticeship and had taken a transfer to Sydney from Melbourne – just because. And like any one in the year of 1985 I thought it would be cool and exciting. I had a very short No2 barber style haircut because of work demands. My wages were an exciting $450 per week but my lifestyle was costing me twice that. Hell it was the 80’s So i did lots of overtime. of course there was overtime, i was a chef, hells bells my shifts lasted 16 hrs a day, 7 days a week.
- was drug of choice back then. And
- 21st birthday. The biggest clue to show what my birthdays would be like in years to come. My family totally forgot it was my 21st. I was ‘couple less’ Ok no guy was interested!! My sister was at university doing here Arts degree, Older bro’ was getting married and younger bro’ was doing an apprenticeship in mechanics.
- 30th birthday. Well lots had happened in the intervening ten years. I came back home , briefly after the excitement of Sydney. I had a minor breakdown ( although at the time did not recognise it as that) I wandered around back and forth btw jobs and locations. Met Andrew; we set up house together, he got transferred and by this time really thought we could make ago of it and have a family. Alas none of that happened . Not without trying. I had my first 2 melanomas removed.
40th birthday. Well let us just say this day
really truly sucked.
By now Andrew and I had split, Had a couple of affairs, one night “what was I thinking?’ and hook ups and essentially i wandered off – again looking for “MR RIGHT, excitement and fulfillment.
- Found Rob and this birthday which was to be special ended up being a farce.
- No not John Cleese and silly walk Farce but in a way it was.
- Breakfast in Bed was totally forgotten – he went for a run and by the time he got back I had left for the Swim titles in Melbourne. I ended up buying myself a chocolate croissant and 6 lemon Krispy Kreme donuts on the road trip. MMMMM Krispy Kreme Donuts…….
- the ‘big’ “i will take you shopping after lunch” spree was, also, forgotten because his work was far more important. So most of the day was spent at the National Swimming Titles. We both had swimmers competing. Thank God my 2 came through for wins – yeah some joy briefly. His 3 failed dismally and the ire was taken out on me. There goes this birthday. Then later that night I wanted to go out to a particular restaurant … nope he chose this very busy Japanese place and of course we waited, waited and waited some more to be served by then I was SO OVER this ‘special’ birthday I sulked all the way home. Exhausted and depressed.
So here I am Alone Again naturally…I think that is a John denver song… I do hope this is the beginning of more wonderful birthdays.