Eddie’s Message for the New Year

Thank You for reminding me to be true to myself.

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NYE – 2014. Is this a new beginning for me??

Woo Hoo!!New Years Noise

Another year comes to a close.  Well in Time speak it does.   So where has my past 365 days gone?

I have constantly wondered that as each month ended and new one began.

Here are some actual things that shaped my year.

January 2014:    I was, like now, counting down the hours ( yes 125 to go) to my 49th birthday.  I was on my own and hoping, like, hell, this would be the year for Mr right’.      

custom smiley         (this explains exactly how i felt most of the year.)

The weather was usual; for this region. HIGH 32 C + most days with the ‘odd’ break and light shower.  Ohh and the odd dust storm or two.  

February:

There had been bushfires and storms.   It was my nieces 14th birthday, the kids went back to school and the twins went to Mt Buller for a whole year of school at Timbertop.  Yep the twins go to a private school.

I had yet to see my father but had spoken many times on the phone to him.. He was having some problems with his left shoulder and a cough that he could not quite shake.  Although he was still riding his bike and walking Molly twice a day.

Valentines Day rolled around and I found my cynicism on red hot high… URGHH!!!

Happy note it was nieces 14th birthday .  Plans were hatched for me to visit in 2 weeks and we would celebrated the 14th with my nephews 18th birthday… Anxiety hit hard….what do I get the 18 yr old??

MARCH:  This was the worse time of my, and siblings lives, our father suddenly felt unwell, his shoulder was painful and he could not sleep.  Then he had trouble breathing.

My sister took him to emergency, I was rung – a very fast road trip took place. 689 kms’ in apx. 5 hours.   The next day was my nephews 18th.  He was told that grandpa was sick.   In reality he was in ICU ONCOLOGY..    3 and 1/2 days later my father passed away in front of us.  I cannot explain the grief…

MARCH / APRIL : 2 funerals were held for my father.  Another niece turned 10 and her other grandfather had a heart attack whilst driving a car and ended in ICU.  So easter was totally forgotten. by all of us.

MAY / JUNE / JULY: We all stumbled through these months. I know I was sick with a bad bout of shingles and flu. In that time I had met someone.  Very very casual dinners, camping, and relaxing were shared.  At the time I did not even realise it was doomed from day one. Had the ‘old rose colored glasses ‘ on. Heart Glasses BUT it was so good to go to sleep with another next to me, getting a massage, and to wake up finding us holding hands or cuddling, or all the great meals we both cooked.

These months were compounded by a fight over my fathers estate and legal action.  Consequently that brother is no longer part of my life, never really was.

AUGUST / SEPTEMBER:  Legal stuff was settled.  We all started to grieve a bit less.  It would have been Dads 81st birthday.  My sister and one of the girls went to Thailand for a holiday, J (bro in law) went to Byron Bay for surfing trip- only it rained the whole time he was there.  Our mother slipped a bit more into dementia and a vegetated state.  I begun to plan my trip for dad to Queensland.  (You can read about it way down in earlier blogs on this site )

OCTOBER:  The ‘friendship was disintegrating before my eyes.  He said sex was terrific but I kinda ‘bored him’ and we ‘apparently’ suddenly did not have much in common…  where that all came from to this day I am unsure of..

So i headed on MY SOJOURN TO THE OUTBACK.… mind you he still checked in most days wanting to know what I had done/ seen/ been/ eaten..

The trip was exciting, interesting, and everything I really thought Australia looked like.. Even though I tried to “let go” , “move on”  I found I could not. Maybe because I was still ill. Then a day I reached my destination..  I finally cried .  My dad said it was ok to do so and I did.  Some of my grief subsided.   Although the depression did not go too far away.  It would have been nice to share all of this with someone.

The UPSIDE OF THIS MONTH : was I bite the bullet and began to write again, AND I found WordPress.

I discovered all of you.. So i am ‘not an idiot who loves to write’ – to quote a person; who obviously does not enjoy words.

NOVEMBER / DECEMBER:   Austin (ROMP) was my saviour. His blogs about Halloween and christmas re ignited a desire to live life; again.   I had some really great laughs at them.  Mark filled me with curiosity about Syracuse and beyond.  Colleen made me feel all warm and welcome with her love for life in Florida.  Jacke Wilson re ignited my interest in literature, libraries, philosophy. I read many others including Without Grains – yum those recipes are great, Books, Baking and Blogging from the Netherlands, Twenty and Young, The Daily (w) rite, Blogging 101, and too many others to mention.

Again I just wanted to jump on a plane and meet them.   In between I slowly mended myself.   Yep! western medicine is a scam.

AND then there was the discovery of the truly wonderful Eddie Two Hawks.  Who reintroduced me to the very wise words of Bhagvad Gai, Lao tzu and enlightenment, spirituality and ensured me it was ok to think like that.

 So it is now 2015 and:

I realised that after many years of trying to ‘fit in’ ;I now do not care for all of those naysayers.  I beginning to believe in me again.

I believe in spirits and spirituality.

I believe that the Buddhists do know a thing or two about life.

I believe I do have something to give.

I do believe I have compassion and I AM a selfless person.

I am an intelligent woman, about to turn 50. Who likes to cook, and also likes to be wined and dined, will watch a movie or 2 and knows how to relax.

I have lived life –  as PINK sings “so what..” and will continue to do so because I want to, not because “You are making me to.”

Ok  – I suck in the finances department BUT I have survived, some how, this far.

AND YES  – YES  – YES  – I do like to write.  

I do love books.

I do love to learn new things.

I do not fit into any real stereotypical mould.

I do regret not having children but hey thats is the way the cookie crumbles.

I do know I have had some form of depression all my life but for most of it have coped with it and used it. 

I am only going to exercise when I ‘feel’ like it.   No more ridiculous gym sessions etc. because I look great for a woman my age…  I ain’t got booty but my breasts are firm and just nice, my eyes are sapphire and I am ageing like a fine bottle of wine.

 It is a new beginning – I think    Question Mark

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Inspiration Point

I think I will use this as part of my motivation -to write- wall this year. it seems so appropriate.

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The Bookstore Attraction Conundrum

Once again My blog friend Austin has come to all our rescues. A short poignant read that does give hope for all of us alone.

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

bookstore-picDoyle wasn’t sure exactly why he’d picked that exact moment to look up from his book.

Even now, weeks removed from the incident, he couldn’t tell you if it was just a feeling he had, or if the Fates themselves had somehow intervened and tapped him on the shoulder.

He didn’t really care why he looked up, though.  All that mattered was that he did.

Because that was when he saw her.

“Dude,” he whispered as he tapped his friend Ryan on the elbow, and then pointed across the bookstore at the young lady who was browsing at the books on the Eastern European Religions shelf.

“Whoa,” Ryan uttered in reply, as he closed his book and sat up straight.  “And you thought hanging at the bookstore was a waste of time.  She is so your type.”

Doyle nodded his agreement.  The object of their ogling would definitely be found…

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Inspiration Point

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My Special Christmas Present

This is my christmas present.  No santa did not leave it nor did anyone else.

 I bought this when i was having my Sojourn to The Outback.

I was in Broken Hill at the time and visiting the Largest Mural in the World tourist attraction.    They had lots of silver jewellery on display and opals, and lots of other ‘touristy’ stuff. 

But I keep coming back to this necklace; I am certain my dad was guiding me to it.  

It was tucked way up the back behind some mass produced  chains from China, no not from there in “the silver city”.

Anyway I love it. So I am sharing it with all of you.my christmas necklace

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He”s here….Its christmas in Australia

Mistletoe 1  HUGE KISSES everyone because….

 yeah! SANTA IS HERE…

the bells are ringing at the catholic church. All the dogs are barking, and not the ‘get away from my house’ bark BUT the “HEY guys pass it on Santa Claus has just been to my place’ bark.

I can hear people yelling ‘Merry Christmas” and the moon has that extra sparkle.

OMG the stars are really bright, lotsa pep in them.   I am sure i just saw him flashing across the sky.

LOVE YOU SANTA .  I Love You   LOVE ALL YOUR WORK.Clapping Hands

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2 hours to go and Counting……..

Yeah!!! there is a new moon hanging low in the sky. I can see the bright star, the town is quiet and the weather very mild 21C ……I can almost hear him HO HO Ho ing.

 I want to believe.   This is the beginning, again, of another year of bright positive possibilities. 

So Santa, Hanukkah Harry, Fred and Mrs Claus, and all those terrific elves please,please, please, grant, at least, one really bright wish to uplift my heart and soul.

Robyn Louise

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10 Signs You’ve Found Your Calling

As I am “At that crossroad, AGAIN, (sheesh) I found this enlightening and made some sense.
AS for the title I m still unsure if I have found my ‘calling”.. Maybe you have . Pass it on

Funky Wolf Cafe

adfsbaby Dr. Lissa Rankin

How can you tell if you’ve found your calling? As a doctor who was called to medicine at a young age but then wound up disillusioned by the system, questioning my calling, I’ve asked myself this question a lot. It’s been a long strange trip—first leaving medicine, then feeling called back, then leaving again only to find my role inhealing our broken health care system as a writer, speaker, revolutionary, and teacher of physicians.
Along the way, I’ve learned a few things about how to know whether you’re on the right track.
1. You’ll realize you’ve been training for your calling since the moment you were born.
Even the gritty things, the disappointments, the regrets, and the screw ups, they were all prepping you for whatyou’re now being called to do. You’ll realize that the divorce, the bankruptcy, the death of your…

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End Of Another Year or is it?

StockingYes  -it is the end of another year,

And with that comes far too much over the top ‘Christmas Cheer.’

Cannot quite get into it, as I feel Blue

Another Christmas alone; this time without you.

Why did you have to go and hurt my heart?Broken Heart

Ok  – we were kinda growing apart.

Could you not have waited?and played pretend?

wined, dined, hugged, kissed and made amends.

Shared presents, talked, loved morning to night

So blue and alone have not even put up a christmas light.

But                                then I am not really on my own,

I got my followers, of these blogs, to help set a cheery tone.

  So HIP HIP HIP HOORAY    Thank You

 Merry Christmas to ALL of YOU and have a wonderful day

Christmas Tree Presents

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Born in Truth

ohhh cute dogs..wise thought again.

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Love Actually

I have just watched this movie for the ..(HMMMM i think the 20th time.Thnking Boy. )

And I love this movie. It is about christmas, friendship and relationships.

Ok it is abit chick flick but I do know of guys who have watched it. The music is great because now I am singing “All I want for Christmas” by Mariah Carey…. My personal fav. xmas carol ( of sorts)

Really it gives us all hope and that is all of us can ask for.

Yes I do wish I had a bit of romance in my life especially at this time of the year

So What is your favorite movie similar to this??

Because I would like to think I am not the only one who wants love.

       

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GOSH – is it sunday again???

Capricorn Girl

http://www.nerdinthebrain.wordpress.com/

Yes dear readers it is Sunday Again and once again I forgot 3 great things for the week which should have been posted on thursday.

Honestly I am very unsure what I did this past week. I know I mourned ( and got angry and bitter and wanted revenge) for  the loss of a friendship,

and had a bad bout of Black dog, and ate a litre of choc chip ice cream and waxed my legs . Ouch! ouch !!ouch.!!!!!

So I am Grateful For:

  • ROMP : otherwise known as Austin who writes the funniest blogs. This month they are all about Christmas.
  • Nick, Wendy and Mary at the training organisation because they are teaching me to be a teacher.
  • The stranger who patted me on the shoulder, outside the doctors, when I had received some slightly disturbing not so good news.
  • I know there is only supposed to…

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Vale..to 2 brave people

Our Monday morning coffee club has ended in tragedy ..

Let us all have coffee and buy LINDT CHOCOLATES to honour all those brave souls who endured this tragedy.

My condolences to all the families involved and the two who lost their lives.

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Lindt Chocolate Cafe Sydney

Today many people were just going about there “Monday Morning Coffee Club ritual ‘ ( thanks Austin @romp) when one individual did not want coffee or chocolate. Why not you ask” because Lindt Chocolates are very yummy” a chorus of you say.
ANd I totally agree. Their coffee ain’t bad either.

But this person did not want either of them or one of their famous beautifully gift wrapped boxes, to savour later.

No this person wanted BITTER BITTER BITTER type of chocolate.  the kind that only the devil brings.

In response to all of this check out twitter. ( sorry i personally do not do twitter)

#illridewithyou

It is how us Aussies, and millions of others worldwide would react to this crisis.

It goes to show that person is well and truly outnumbered.

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HOW DARE YOU —-2

How Dare You ….. yes all of you who do these things.   What is wrong with you?? Why do you feel you have to make such bloodied, merciless, fearful  motions into play??

Did you think about the cost of today? or any other day; these thing happen on.

NO NO NO YOU did not because you were so wrapt up in your OWN SELFISHNESS that you did not even think.

All those police and emergency personnel, yes they are trained for this but they have been standing around, whilst putting other peoples lives at risk because they can not be utilised in their normal day to day procedures.

Or the fact that many many many businesses had to close or shut down because of your actions. Thus thousands of people had to go home and productivity ground to a halt.

What about the tourist who had come to Sydney to see all those great attractions.. They will certainly have an indifferent opinion of Australia now.

Or the public transport was reshuffled just to make sure everyone else might be safe.

Or the millions of dollars lost through all of this today, tomorrow and in the future.
NO because you are selfish and have no empathy at all.

And WHY do the tv stations give credence to all of this. Really not much happened today yet it was exhaustingly on all of our 6 main tv channels.  Why could you not ( tv station owners and bosses) just cut back to it when something did happen. It only drove the fear factor higher; for some people with your ad nauseum coverage.

Back to my opinion:

We are all just trying to make a living and respect each ones ideals and cultures YET you are trying to spoil our country….WHY? WHY? Tell us; let those innocent people go and talk to those in charge.

There is no need for all of this  confrontational C****

Am I angry Yes because I love Australia and I just wish all of this nonsense, religiously motivated or not to stop.

I am certain that I am not alone in thinking this.

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HOW DARE YOU…

How dare you …yes you that person in Sydney ….how dare you..holding those innocent people hostage.
How dare all you extremists…include those with any sort of individualistic idealism.
HOW DARE YOU…ruin australia ‘s laid back attitude

Even if you like the islamic ideals ; they are even not wanting you as part of their culture.
The muslims i have known, even, are angry that you..are doing this.
This is Australia …better yet why are you people doing this to all of us…
HOW DARE YOU..

Please give up now…those people were just working trying to improve their lives or having coffee.

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my Anti Bucket list

In response to the Daily Posts title here are some of the things i wish not to do, visit, eat, etc etc:

  • eat oysters, mussels or anchovies…what is the deal with them hmm? yuk!
  • Eat offal.
  • Eat mangoes.
  • Eat / Dine at Any over rated restaurant that has snotty or young inexperienced waiters, overpriced food and seats me somewhere down the back.  So what I like to eat on my own – sometimes.
  • Anything that resembles public transport in melbourne, sydney, hell anywhere except france and japan.
  • nightclubs or any place where FAR TOO MUCH alcohol is served and my night out is ruined by drunken chitchat.
  • los angeles except when i really do have to change flights there.
  • Las Vegas – what a hyped up touristy place.
  • Drool over (and wishfully want to date )that guy, sometimes that has a six pack, because I know he is either gay, just wants a quick roll in the hay or is so narcissistic / masochistic that i do not really exist in his life.
  • read JK Rowling
  • read anything with a political edge to it.. Because I may form an opinion and they could be a deal breaker in any relationship forward of today.
  • I have no desire to visit China, Egypt, or even  Africa.  I am happy seeing Australia; for the moment.
  • Read the classics. i am sure i won’t die if i really do not know one Bronte from another.
  • I really Do not want to ‘Mend fences with my older brother”  that r/ship is best the way it is now.. very far away.
  • I do not want to live to a old age
  • not to be alone but be liked.
  • i do not want to be loved because it hurts
  • be quiet – whether in conversation, at meetings, or anywhere I want people to know I do exist.

That is just some of the things on my list….

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I wish someone would….

I recently read a post by:…… http://markbialczak.com/ I think it was.hmm? about the weirdest and silliest things you would put on your christmas list.

This is not so weird BUT I wish someone would…..invent quieter leaf blowers, lawn mowers, edge trimmers, whipper snipper things and chainsaws.

I live in an enclosed type body corporate and every wednesday , like clockwork.  Yes even like clockwork orange.  The contracted gardening company come and edge, trim and mow the common lawn areas.   It is a FULL 5 hours of noisey Noisey NOISEY noise that just irritates me; and a lot of others.

SO all you smart and clever cookies ( no not the xmas kind) at John Deere, Stihl, Kubota and all those other places that manufacture these infernal NOISY THINGS.   Get with it and give us all really quiet pieces of machinery..

Because peace is all we want for christmas.

Merry Christmas

Santa

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Awakening

i have always admired this line of self awareness and spirituality. There is a lot or a little that anyone can take away from this thinking. Happy Bodhi Day! every one.

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